marysgarage1

03 November 2009 @ 12:16 am

Dentist: I took Thing 1 & Thing 2 to the Dentist. Both stories require hand gestures & eye rolls but blogging will have to suffice. Sadly I am not done with their long and drawn out craziness, but I promise I will be soon and when I do you will LAUGH! (I also owe everyone 2 other stories with pictures!)

I got an email about my 30,000 Honda Maintenance. They wanted $600.00! In this economy!? I prefer to eat...and shop. Chris had his friend Al do it. Yea friends!

Did you know Non-profit charity organizations are not subject to the NO CALL rule? I used to donate to the Police & Fireman fund several years in a row. When Chris lost his job I stopped donating, but they never stopped calling me...EVER! I became so annoyed that even though Chris has a great job now I have trouble giving again. They annoyed the hell out of me!

Joke: Woman tries to file a compliant with HR. Bob keeps making comments at me. He comes up to me at the water cooler and says, Gee my hair smells terrific.
The HR person does not understand the objection? That sounds like a compliment to me. Why are you so upset.
Bob is a dwarf.

Tags: dentist, joke, randoms, rants

Current Mood:

amused

Current Music: Bad Things: True Blood Theme

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09 July 2009 @ 07:49 pm

Rants & Randoms: Michael Jackson

Jon Stewart is a genius. He referred to yet another Senator caught with his pants down. Quote, "Conservative Mind with a Liberal Penis" Which leads me to...

Some Senator had the nerve to talk about Michael Jackson being a pervert. I disagree. If I had that much constant scrutiny by the media for 40 years straight I would seem a little weird myself. But my complaint is that currently I would not leave my child alone with a State Senator. Senators are the Biggest Perverts Ever!

I was shocked to find that I do not own any Michael Jackson music on CD. I had every cassette. I have the History Music Video DVD that I like to watch, but no CD's. Now it is going to be a pain, but I NEED his music.

Tags: michael jackson, randoms, rants

Current Mood:

sad

Current Music: Michael Jackson: Smooth Criminal

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30 June 2009 @ 12:07 am

Rants & Randoms

Licorice, Red Vines & Twizzlers are three different candies and don't you forget it!!

Surprise visits are supposed to be good. However when your June & July is as busy as ours it messes things up. We can only be in one place at a time. Nothing except a Teleporter could have helped to solve the problem.

My Aunt says her Nephew is coming to town in a few weeks. He MIGHT take her back for 1 month in New York and North Carolina. She does not know if she wants to go. Why the hell not? It has got to be boring here, take the blasted trip if at all possible! Of course she could just be making it up. Sigh.

Tags: randoms, rants

Current Mood:

calm

Current Music: Michael Jackson

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12 June 2009 @ 12:22 am

Rants & Randoms

Joke - Yo Momma is so old she enjoys long walks on the beach after she crawls out of the ocean and grows legs.

According to a commercial 1 out of 4 women cannot read a traditional pregnancy test. My point is 1 out of 4 women was stupid enough to get pregnant.

Never let anyone stand between You and God. Especially not stupid misleading people.

Double Stuf Oreos are good for me. They trigger my guilt and I eat better later.

Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?

Why does one trip to Frank & Son offer very little, but the next trip has so much stuff that I cannot even get it all!?

Interesting question I borrowed: If you saw ME in the back of a police car what would you think I got arrested for? Reply to me, I want to see how many crimes I get accused of.

Tags: randoms, rants

Current Mood:

pensive

Current Music: HexRx

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11 May 2009 @ 10:07 pm

Rants & Randoms: Why?

I got carded at Target for Dayquil during a flu "epidemic" WTFRAK!? I object to being carded for any reason at my age, but Dayquil? Do I look like a 15 year old druggie? Would a druggie buy one package? She had to swipe my driver's license into the register before it would let me pay for it. That is just the height of stupidity and a waste of everyone’s time. I am sure there is some blanket law that now screws 98% of the population when it is a 2% problem. Stupid lawmakers!

Tags: randoms, rants

Current Mood:

annoyed

Current Music: Poxy Boggards, Drink Til I Die

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29 April 2009 @ 11:24 pm

Rants & Randoms: Female Issues

For any Men out there who think this is not important let me remind you of something. On average a Period starts every 28 days and lasts 4-7 days long. The average calendar month has 31 days in it. Which eventually leads your wife or girlfriend to have her period twice in one month. If WE are unhappy, YOU will be unhappy.

My Period obviously hates me, so why does it stick around?

Why does my body insist on having a period every month for 30+ years when I only wanted 2 or 3 children max? Why all the extra production? I am not a Busby Berkley film.

When I have been eating decent for 2 weeks straight, why does my period make me dive into various sugary & chocolate combinations? Plus some salt to help retain water...Why?

Why does my cycle make me raging horny and then take away my ability to work it off?

Why does my body insist on having a period that conflicts with whatever I have planned? Not every month, but I think 9 months out of the year is definitely a conspiracy. Think I am exaggerating? My period will move itself several days forward or back depending on the amount of fun I was planning to have. Maybe Aunt Flow is related to my Aunt. Yikes!!

Tags: female issues, randoms, rants

Current Mood:

horny

Current Music: Pony by Far

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26 April 2009 @ 06:06 pm

Rants & Randoms

Speeding - I drove right into a Speed Trap going around the 805 blind curve towards the 163. I was heading to Daiso, Mitsuwa etc. Thank God Almighty I was not speeding. I was going 65-70mph. It was not fast enough to make him pull out after me. Hooray!

SciFi Channel - The SciFi Channel will be changing it's name. They could go back to the original name of Mothership but they are going with "SyFy". I have no idea why the Network wants the stupid name change that only involves spelling and that humans & spell check hate! This is like the Cocoa Cola Classic experiment that went wrong or Clear Pepsi. Yuck!

Princess J at the Park - Because Year-Around school SUCKS I have Princess J for 4 weeks. She was running errands with me and it was taking a long time. I had promised her a trip to Balboa Park. We go to the park anyway, noting the time. I let her know I have to pick up her brother from school soon. She understands this. I drive around the parking lot once and realize everyone else had the same idea. I tell Princess J she can get out while I try to park further away. She gets out to play while I circle 3 lots. I even try the street along Park Blvd. I return realizing there is no hope. I reposition myself in the original lot having spotted Princess J each time I circled. I honk to try and get her attention. Nothing happens. I wait a minute or two and honk again. This time other people turn around, but not Princess J. I spent approximately 30 minutes in that lot trying to get her attention. She is old enough to be by herself, but I do not want to leave her, I'm not that crazy. I would have parked illegally, but there was a constantly circling park cop who loves to write tickets. I finally decided I had to get Mr M from school so that he could get his sister for me. Mr M's school is so close it takes 4 minutes total to retrieve him. I am fuming mad and Mr M is more than happy to lead his sister to the chopping block. They are walking back towards me and she is already crying. Sally Fields says she could not find me. I asked her did she try the FUCKING PARKING LOT? Everyone else in the area eventually turned around to see who was honking but YOU never did! I figure it is better that I kill my daughter with words than let some child stealing lunatic get to her. Common sense has never been her strong suit, but I love her.

Tags: randoms, rants

Current Mood:

annoyed

Current Music: Lily Allen

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13 April 2009 @ 11:34 pm

Rants & Randoms: Old Age

I want to remember what it was like to be young, but not be bitter.

I want to take a Taxi every once in a while so that I realize just how expensive and annoying driving around can be.

I want a Roommate, preferably my husband, but eventually, most likely a girlfriend.

I want four people to take care of me when I am old. Being the sole caretaker sucks.

I want a driver to take me to the store for food. I will need help carrying the packages more than actual shopping.

I want a driver to take me to the Mall for other stuff. As I have learned from hard experience, more than one person is required to drive another human being around!

#1 and most important...when I die I want someone to miss me! If I am a bitch no one will.

Tags: old age, randoms, rants

Current Mood:

pensive

Current Music: Lily Allen

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02 April 2009 @ 11:05 pm

Rants & Randoms: Why?

Dog Owners
I saw a woman jogging with her German Sheppard. The large dog decided to go after a small Pug. It was not a vicious thing, just a sniff-fest. The older male owner of the Pug looked upset like the German Sheppard was going to eat his dog. #1 German Sheppard are very nice & intelligent dogs. #2 The German Sheppard was on a leash and the Pug was not. #3 When there is a fight it is usually the small dog that starts it and #4 Pugs are snack size.
What I want to know is why did the Pug owner look shocked and dismayed about the German Sheppard? He was the one letting his dog run loose with out a leash.

Drive Me Insane
For those of you lovely people who are driving around with no place particular to go anytime soon could you Please get the FRAK out of my way! Why are you on the road anyway? Gas is expensive!

Why oh why must everyone have his or her event on the same day? Even if there are only 3 events in a month all 3 of them will be on the same Sunday. Grumble

I was watching Star Wars Clone Wars, which I like, but I want to know why JarJar is not dead yet!!!

If I have 99 out of 100 items available on my website a new buyer will contact me for item #100 which I already sold, on eBay at opening bid price. Why?

Why did the USA government acquire 1.3 Trillion dollar in debt? The deficit is utterly ridiculous! I owe money on my ONE and only credit card and "they" want to have a cow. (You know what I mean)

My son is out for Spring Break for one week, but my daughter is out for FOUR weeks. Whyyy!?

Quote
"Come in peace or leave in pieces" is my favorite quote for the week from the Sherrilyn Kenyon site. It really sums up my week.

Tags: randoms, rants

Current Mood:

confused

Current Music: Lily Allen

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14 February 2009 @ 12:35 am

Rants & Randoms

I often make tiny comments in the margins when I am taking down notes at meetings. Apparently in January someone or something was, "Powerful Sexy". Not sure of the context of that but it makes me smile. I think everyone will agree my second comment is more interesting: "Wander behind Martin playing porn music". I assume this is similar to the 1970's Shaft movies.

So they cancelled a vibrant Pushing Daisies for a run down Scrubs. WTF!!

Michael Phelps smoked pot at a private party in someone's home. Who was the ratfink who posted the picture? Damn camera phones!!

Christian Bale is not so bad. I know people are having a cow about Mr Bale's yelling fit, but I didn't. Not because it was good or nice, but because sometimes it is necessary to kill one, to make the others learn from their mistake. Having been the totally crazy person blessing someone out, I understand Christian...I understand.

People are so stupid in my neighborhood...How stupid are they?
An SUV stopped at the back left hand side of a City bus, like it was a School bus.

Tags: randoms, rants

Current Mood:

thoughtful

Current Music: Grammy Mix

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